Into the double digits now!!
I’m going to get into something a little controversial this time, and that’s because I’ve started reading the book after watching the television show, 13 Reasons Why. Which prompts a multiple part question this time around. I’m genuinely curious about other people’s opinions on this matter. I will also be posting my thoughts, and I apologize in advance if it seems graphic, and dark. We’re getting very personal in this one, folks.
Do you feel, with all the changes they made, the show did the book justice? Do you feel this show glorifies suicide? Do you think it was too graphic?
Let me know in the comments below how you feel about the show.
And before I get into my take on this, I’d like to thank Imdb for the Netflix photo of Clay and Hannah, played by Dylan Minnette, and Katherine Langford, respectively.
I loved this show. L-O-V-E-D it. I thought finally, FINALLY a show that depicts the feeling of worthlessness, and graphic nature that is bullying and sexual assault, the lack of help from adults, and ugliness of being pushed into thinking there was only one way out. Only one way to find peace.
I was sexually assaulted multiple times. I was raped by someone I trusted. I was bullied in school, by my peers and adults. And I wanted to kill myself.
I don’t feel that the show glorifies suicide. The scene that they showed was not pretty. You can see her first hesitation mark, as she tried to not pull away the razor from her wrist. She screamed. She cried. But the hopelessness had already overtaken her too much to turn back, and she continued to do what she felt she needed to do. Then the moment her mother finds her.
That. That was the reason I didn’t do it. My father would have been the one to find me… and I couldn’t do that to anyone I love, especially him. A parent should never outlive their child. Or find their body. No. I couldn’t do that. But I still wanted to. So, I resorted to other means of self destruction. Abusive boys. Reckless driving. Not eating. Cutting. And just the general not giving two shits about anything. To this day I have no idea how I graduated high school, because I hated being there, and I definitely didn’t want to take it home.
13 Reasons Why was absolutely difficult to watch. It left me a blubbering mess like no other show or book had before. Because I could relate so deeply to the situations that show never delicately depicted. And even though it made me anxious, or sick to my stomach, I’m so glad they showed those terrible things. Those dark and disgusting things that are usually underplayed. Those things shouldn’t be blanketed because some bleeding hearts think it’s too hard for them to watch. They NEED to be shown, because they NEED to be talked about. They need to be brought to light if people will ever be comfortable enough to talk about it. If you can’t talk about it, because of shame or ridicule, you can’t find peace. You can’t know that you’re not alone. You can’t know that IT DOES GET BETTER.
I was a teenager. I didn’t know. I couldn’t know that it gets better. That there are people out there who went through the things I did, or worse, and turned into good people, who learned to love and respect themselves. I couldn’t talk about it. When I tried, my feelings were criticized, which only brought more hurt and shame.
I think this show opens a dialogue. For parents and their children, as well as conveys how little schools do to stop things from happening. I know, I’ve been there. Maybe this show can bring some sort of education, open some eyes. Show bullies that YES you can impact someone’s life so much that they are willing to end it. YES your words fucking hurt, and have consequences! Maybe you aren’t affected by these consequences… but your victims sure are. Maybe not drive them to actually kill themselves, but they might cut. Or starve themselves. Or rely on substances to get through the day. Or not go to school, damaging their education and credibility. Or just think about taking their life over and over and over and over… and I feel that this show was able to represent those affects through the eyes of the victims.
Parents need to stop downgrading their children’s feelings, and pay more attention. Stop saying “you brought it on yourself”, “it’s just a phase”, “it can’t be that bad”, or just blatantly ignoring it, and wait for it to go away. They can handle more than you know, but they need dialogue, connection, understanding, and most of all- respect.
I’m not placing 100% blame on any one person in particular, because blame from when someone decides that suicide is the only way out is distributed between so many things– mental health, bullies, parents, pressures (peer, school, societal)… and it all eventually becomes too much when it gets ignored. But people don’t just decide to die for no reason at all…
How do you feel about it? Are you willing to share your story?